Oh, this place. The country where I've spent my life so far, but for a few weeks in England and one in the USA. I can't say I know it all that well, having been in my head and lands of books while my body lives here, but it's not a bad place to live at all. We have the best English accents (not you, Cavan, Cork, Dublin, but elsewhere) and a pleasantly mild (though damp) climate. Ireland. My feelings on it have long been influenced by dar
-- first my dissatisfaction with this place ignited, then I rebelled away from that, before finding my own neutral centre. I'm no raving patriot, but I'm fond of this small green place.
A tricky one for me. I used to consider myself a writer. I used to be a writer -- I wrote daily, I brimmed with words and found a deep satisfaction in translating experiences into words. But I stopped having anything to say, and I couldn't write. I'm still there, except that I can write, a little, when I need or want to speak. But it's rarer and comes out without ease.
Independence *matters* to me. Lots. -- hah, I took a break from writing these answers to read through my journal, and found this very apropos entry
. Independence -- being a unit unto myself, self-sufficient and entirely happy without aid from others. It's important to me, but I take it too far in that I'm not comfortable *not* being truly independent. I see anything less as deviations from it that may send me back to my pupa-like teenage state -- acting incapable and letting my parents do everything for me, or living through other people and their views. I'm attempting to learn to have healthy, close, interdependent but not co-dependent friendships. I badly want to. I'm scared to, but it matters to be part of society, to be within the net of relationships and an influenced influence. Sometime I've got to elaborate on my murky thoughts about 'society' and how 'the good of society' is secretly a strong influence on me/my morality. We're herd animals. It's very basic.
Friendship - I'd forgotten this was next up when I started talking about it above! It's a tricky subject for me, historically and presently. I had such a bad 'best friendship' as a little girl that's set a pattern for future friendships that I've had difficulty breaking, and my response to it has largely been to play different sides of the dynamic, to remove myself entirely from friendships, or to keep people at a safe distance. Working on it. I welcome company in this. Sometimes.
Dreeeeeamwidth. My new online home. Not everything I wished it could be, as expected, and the energy has ebbed more than it could have, but it's a functioning, living system. People are *using* this site, living on this site. It's revived my interest in journalling and led me to reach out to many more people than I'd met in *years* of LJ usage. For the last couple of months I've slowed right down in my use of the site (any site) as I haven't had a great deal of *outward* energy to give, but it's a priority as soon as I have the reserves for it. Because this place matters, because I have hope for it, because I feel I can make a difference here.